You have to have a strategy. You can’t just fucking stand there and eat. You have to sort of… keep re-discovering the cookies. You have to walk over and be like “Oh hey. Who brought those? That’s cool. I totally could not eat it, but fuck it I’ll eat it. Don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.” And if people start noticing you have to say something like “These are crazy. Like, I’m addict- I don’t know what it is about them.” Yeah, it’s the fucking cookie… not that you’re a piece of shit that can’t stop eating anything.
- Louis C.K. on cookie-noshing at parties (Shameless)